Heartbreak and Happiness
by darkmoonprincess432
Summary: Somewhat AU. Anti-Sakura don't like don't read. Neji's just broken up with Sakura and goes to the bar for a drink but meets quite a few familiar people who share his problem but have healed. Warning: innuendo, yaoi, lots of anti-sakura, and language. Rated M to be safe.


_**Comments: Hehehehe my first oneshot! I'd like to apologize to any Sakura fans for being so against her but she is my least favorite characters so no flags please! For people who agree with me though; read on! Characters will be somewhat OOC and this fic has nothing to do with my other ones though it does contain an OC in about three sentences (guess who it is). Angst Parings: Narusaku, Shikasaku, Kibasaku, Shinosaku, Gaasaku, Kanksaku, Nejisaku. Promoted Parings: Gaahina, NaruOC, Kibatenlee, Shinoino, ChoShikaNeji sort of Temakank (100% sibling love promise) Rated for language and innuendo (and to be safe). This was inspired by Husband Bros written by Emmy Kay the difference being that everyone's broken up with Kakashi in that fic; this one it's Sakura.  
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_**Summary: Neji's trying to get over his breakup with Sakura, Konoha's number one female player. He finds himself in the bar and meets quite a few familiar people stuck in the same jam as he is. Warning: Contains lots of Anti-Sakura comments, yaoi, innuendo, and swearing.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto otherwise Sakura wouldn't be such a bitch. **_

Neji Hyūga sighed sadly in the Crooked Kunai. Ordinarily he would never allow himself to go to a crazy bar like this one but he was in a need for a drink. Badly.

How did this happen? Because his girlfriend Sakura broke up with him after two wonderful years of dating. Neji was thinking of proposing to her but now all his could see was a blank empty life.

"You okay there 'ji?" his friend Shikamaru asked. Neji shook his head, "No I'm not."

"What happened?" Shikamaru asked with unusual interest. Neji was about to use an excuse but decided not to lie to his friend, "Sakura broke up with me." Shikamaru winced and patted him on the shoulder, "I'm sorry about that 'ji but it'll get better." Turning away he shouted to a closed booth, "Guys we got another one."

"What are you talking about?" Neji asked. Shikamaru smiled warmly and a little sadly, "You'll see, come on I'll show you." Slightly bewildered, the Hyūga prodigy followed the Nara into the booth to find the rest of the male shinobi of the Konoha 11 and the Sand Siblings except for Chouji.

"Hey Shika why bring Neji over here?" Naruto asked.

"Sakura broke up with him." Naruto flinched. Kiba sighed. Shino flashed him a sympathetic look though it was hard to tell with the glasses on. Gaara fingered through his robes uneasily. Lee shed 'Manly Tears. 'Kankuro patted him on the back and said, "It's ok man it happens to everybody. _**Literally**_."

"The Beautiful Blossom has Broken yet another Youthful Heart in which the Love of this Wonderful Affair has Faded." Lee let out an uncharacteristic sigh.

"Wait all of you and Sakura-" Neji was cut off by Kiba.

"Dated? Had sex? Were lovers?" Kiba crooked an eyebrow, "It's no secret 'ji. The girl's a slut and everyone in Konoha knows it." Shikamaru flashed him an annoyed look, "You could be less blunt."

"Do you want to talk about it Neji?" Naruto asked gently. Neji was surprised that the annoying blond he lost to in the Chunin Exams had turned into a handsome, powerful, caring man. Surrendering to the polished sapphires that were Naruto's eyes he began, "She started bringing women home. I should have known something was up. She ordered take out for the last week, never insisted on making out in public and then she had sex with a random whore on my bed. I didn't even ask. I just left. The next day I got a note that said 'I'm lesbian. Sorry but we're over' in the report she turned in." everyone winced.

"That was cold," Kankuro said, "She carved the words 'Good bye I hate puppets by the way in' Crow when we broke up."

"Ouch," Neji grimaced.

"She always hated Akamaru," Kiba heaved a sigh; "She got paint and wrote on him 'We're through dog boy'."

"She just punched me into a wall after I went to check on her in the hospital only to find her kissing Gaara," Naruto rolled his eyes, "And then Gaara was dumped when she wrote 'Good bye I have other people to see' in his bento."

"Sakura has always been Violent and Troubled without Sasuke and has found it Difficult to Speak what is On Her Mind or the Black Hole that Substitutes as a Mind. One day she was Crying so I Comforted her and Encouraged her to Speak Her Mind. She then said, "You'll never understand' and sucker punched me and then Ran to Youthful Shino's Arm's only to Fight about his Helpful Bug Friends and left Him alone on a Challenging Mission." Lee saluted to Neji half-heartedly, black eyes looking sympathetically into the cloud-colored ones.

"Same here only she said I was too lazy to have sex so to prove her wrong we fucked all night and then she wrote on my face the next morning 'I didn't want sex you lazy ass'."

"How come I never hear about any of this?" Neji asked to the group.

"A ninja's life is short," Shino spoke quietly, "When we fall in love we don't stop until the person it with us but when they break up with us it hurts more than it would if we were civilians."

"If it makes you feel better, people thought you two would make it," Kiba offered. Neji smiled a little but it turned into a scowl quickly, "Two years together and she had to break up with me like that?"

"We've been there Neji and it does get easier," Gaara said, "I mean when you first fell for her did you think of her reputation? Or how life would be with her?"

"I thought I could change her," Neji shook his head, "I knew but I was a fool."

"Don't berate yourself," Naruto chided, "All of us thought we could change her and make her forget Sasuke."

"It didn't work, it never will with that troublesome woman," Shikamaru lit a cigarette, "I was with her for a year. So was Lee. Naruto was with her for six months, Gaara five. Shino lasted around three weeks and Kiba lasted a week. Kankuro lasted…three nights? She's not even that satisfying in the bed."

"Amen," all of the guys chorused and pounded the table. It split a bit but that happens all the time in the bar. At least they didn't destroy it.

"You think with all the attention she gets she'd be endowed with the limbo of a jack rabbit," Naruto snorted.

"You noticed too! The reaction I got out of her was about," Neji held up his pinky, "This much?" Gaara folded the finger in half, "That's more accurate."

"Yeah and her pussy? Hardly satisfying," Kankuro grumbled. A murmur of agreement filled the room.

"Not to mention she's as flat as road kill," Kiba made a face, "That was the worst sex I had."

"Abso-fucking-lutely," the whole group declared.

"And when she cries to get you to do something," Neji was getting worked up because of 1) alcohol at the table 2) he was really beginning to hate Sakura.

"No shit she practically made me get her jewelry and she broke it the next day," Naruto replied irritated at the memory.

"Not to Mention the Time We Faced Sasuke and she Un-youthfully Drugged Us to Fight Sasuke in which Ended in Failure," Lee added, "She is a Beautiful Flower and Also a Bitch."

"Not to mention she's always had everything good, good childhood, good friends, enough money, everything," Gaara said bitterly, "Naruto and I were treating like crap. Kiba and Shikamaru were traumatized by their moms. Shino lost his mom when she was killed in front of him. You had to be a practical slave. Lee never knew his parents and was forced to steal…our childhoods really sucked and what about hers? She cries over her rivalry with Ino and that's it!" By now the whole table was about to explode from vented anger and was saved by the sudden appearance of Hinata.

"G-Gaara-kun are you ready to go home?" the shy kunoichi asked. Gaara smiled so warmly it was scary, "Of course Hina-chan." He kissed her lightly on her forehead, "Got to go guys."

"See you later," Kiba waved good-bye. When they left Neji asked, "When did _**that**_ happen?"

"About three months ago," Shino responded from his corner, "You're not pissed?"

"Gaara's a good choice if she can deal with him I guess," Neji shrugged, "I couldn't change her mind about Naruto; I can't change her about Gaara probably either."

"Speaking of which, my ride's here," Naruto got up and met Aishina by the door. Neji watched in silent amazement as his sister giggled at Naruto and grabbed his hand tightly before teleporting to do kami knows what.

"I did not see that coming," was all Neji could say.

"No one really did," Kiba shrugged, "But it goes to show you anything can happen. If I didn't break up with Sakura, I never would have been ready for Tenten." Neji's mouth had dropped open at this point. Even more so when Lee hummed agreement.

"She's nice and a good fighter," Kiba defended.

"Kiba-kun! Lee-kun! Are you ready to go?" Tenten materialized as if on cue.

"Ready baby. Oh and Neji if you need anything don't be afraid to ask." Kiba winked and left arm in arm with the weapon's mistress. Lee just gave his 'eternal rival' a 'Nice Guy' pose and left.

"My cousin, my sister and my teammate," Neji said astonished, "How the hell did all of this happen?"

"You were a bit occupied with the bitch Neji but trust me, we've moved on. You can to," Kankuro slipped away to meet his sister. Neji felt like fainting when they kissed.

"It's not what you think; they've just gotten closer since the break-up. Not unlike you and Aishina _Neji_," Shikamaru said knowingly. Neji blushed at the tone, "Well…"

"It's alright 'ji. Funny thing is that when I was with her I was all het but now she curved me around." Neji's face which was naturally pale, lost all color, "You're telling me you're gay?"

"Yes and with Chouji," Shikamaru gestured to the husky shinobi, "You're welcome to join us." He Chester-Cat grinned.

"T-thanks for the offer but let me think about it for a few days." Neji ducked his head quickly under Shikamaru's lecherous gaze.

"Sure 'ji whatever you need." And with that, Shikamaru left Neji in the booth bewildered at the amount of information he just gained. Shino didn't bother helping him and slipped away with Ino for a night of hot love. Smiling eventually though, Neji decided to search for the Nara genius and his lover after three days of intense contemplation. He would take the offer up after all.

* * *

Sakura was having a horrible sneezing fit. Ever since her first relationship with Naruto every time she broke up with a guy it had ended with an intense sneezing fit and vomiting. She had done the latter about three times this morning and as she looked at her mucus covered face, she was beginning to think she was allergic to breakups.

"I should really find someone permanent," she muttered. Oh if only you knew Sakura.

_**A/N: I think this is probably this shortest excerpt I've typed next to the prologue of Shattering Fate. I promise I'll update Time Flowers and Enslaved ASAP. Drop a review? **_


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